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Prince on a white horse: Another love story that seriously sucks

20. února 2018 v 2:02 | Veronika, Queen of Hearts |  That Czech Girl Said
Sometimes I feel like lots of girls are trying hard to present the whole world how the real love should look like today. Every day we can easily stray once or twice into one of those Instagram accounts with pictures of enormous roses arrangements, pieces of jewelry that they've got for every possible holiday that came around, expensive trips with their baes around the world, or occasional presents from Victoria's Secret. It sounds - and looks - so awesome. Like stepping into Cinderellas wet dream. All because they have met that Right Hunk.

Well, you can easily guess from what side of the reality I want to write this story. My love life sucks but still, I consider myself as a quite lucky girl because things could always turn to be seriously much worse if you're stuck with a wrong person (even if there are roses and full bags of expensive sexy undies).

This time I escaped unharmed from possibly very dangerous and hurtful relationship, only with my heart a little shaken from the aftershock. In this story, you should not expect flowers, pictures from romantic getaways or any heart-melting declarations of love as before. Wanna read about my another shitty relationship? Well prepare for yourself some popcorn and booze cause this is gonna be pretty fucked up (but still hope that you're gonna enjoy that though).

I think you haven't heard about me for quite some time, so it's probably better to introduce myself once again. I'm that weird Czech girl that crossed an ocean because she was crazily in love with smokin' hot n' handsome American boy. It was a pretty cool story - I almost didn't believe it myself, it seemed too good to be real. And after a certain time passed, it actually was, because at the end that love wasn't shared by both sides. Life is not an everyday fairy tale. After my relationship fell apart, I had to live with a broken heart for a couple of tiring long months. To be honest, I was a really shitty person to be around in these days. But time proved that it can fix anything and during last summer I finally became somehow normal person again, so I tried to look for some change in my life.

At the beginning of September, I found a new place to live. I'm still in love with Prague and I was lucky enough to find a room near the center of the city with the pair of really cool flatmates. Evička and her boyfriend Mike became a new exciting part of my life. I've missed some friends that I could trust with my heart and they have proved that I could be truly myself around them. It's like my family just got a little bit bigger and they are as funny and weird as I am.

My place is a small cozy room near beautiful historical Vyšehrad. My dad and I have put some serious hard work into it and the result is so worth it. I really don't like moving, but making this step was really refreshing for my life and made lots of good to my self-esteem. Now I'm taking care of myself. My own life is up to me. I'm my own person, my own best buddy.

Well, it probably sounds really great. But there were moments I felt lonely against every step and good odds that came to me in those months. I had good friends, sweet and joyful job, my own place to live... But I missed someone special in my life. And still, I wasn't sure if I could handle another love thing since the last time my disappointment and sadness were too much to handle.

And so I've met Philip. One autumn Friday night he was sitting in my favorite pub Hidden where my flatmate Evička was working behind the bar and I was keeping her company. It was a moment I won't forgive because I couldn't take my eyes off him. And unfortunately, I behaved like a TOTAL ASS.

I was too loud, my mouth full of terrible dirty jokes and curse words. For Philip, it was probably like sitting near a drunk truck driver, just with additional boobs. When I woke up next morning and remembered my behavior from the pub and gorgeous guy that was sitting near me, I thought that I would die from embarrassment. God dammit, when I finally met someone, why the hell did I had to behave like an idiot?! That morning I sobered so fast like never before and promised myself that next time I'll control my damn drunk ass. No guy would be interested in a female version of Sailor Jack. I wondered if I'll meet that cutie pie once again, but honestly, I thought that with my luck it won't happen.

But it did, just a couple days after my slightly drunk shit show. This time I mentally slapped myself, said a normal "hi" and introduced myself. He didn't run away. He remembered me from the last time (well, what a luck) and even thought that I was hilarious. My poor heart could not believe how lucky I was. It wasn't a total disaster!

We shared a beer, had a pleasant conversation and after Evička closed the bar we said goodbye to each other and headed home. The same scenario repeated a couple of days later. He told me about his studies at Charles University on Faculty of Education, English language and physical education (nothing really Earth-shaking but it impressed that he's at the uni). He was only one year younger than me, had two siblings and was living in a shared apartment a little further away from the center of a city. He was into sports, snowboard, football, longboard, and even hockey. He had a great body (yop, I could already tell that), a bad boy smile and the prettiest blue eyes I've seen in a long time.

As you can imagine, I quickly developed a crash for this guy. And it seemed like this boy does feel about me same way. Every night we've met in that bar was interesting, sometimes even challenging. Philip wasn't like the average guy I've met until that time. He hasn't tried to fast-flatter his way into my pants like others. Once he even said that he thinks my tattoos are "a waste of a space on my body". I laughed so hard that I couldn't catch up my breath since Philip himself admitted that he has a pretty crazy text tattooed on his arm (and sadly I cannot specify what exactly that was since you guys should not recognize him in my article - sorry about that). He tried to apologize after, but I never actually took his remark as an insult.

So he was funny (I still thought that time). A pretty hot guy, smart and actually not a lazy bone. Should I finally ask him out? Evička and Mike were already making fun of us, they thought that we were too obvious. But thankfully Philip saved me and asked me out first. Finally, I have a date! Someone really thought I was worth it!

We arranged our first meeting and I just couldn't wait until that night. I was as nervous as a high school girl, even my flatmates tried their best to help me put on some good outfit. When I left our flat, I was already nervous that I'll come late. But it was me who spent 45 minutes waiting in front of our meeting place. Which girl would stay that long?! My self-esteem got a serious punch, but I was stubborn as a bull. Maybe he'll have a good excuse for his late arrival and the rest of the evening is gonna be just perfect, I thought desperately.

Good lord, I'm still sorry that I stayed there and went on that date. Even when he was so late and I was disappointed, upset and also worried, my knees went numb when I finally saw him. Philip was so incredibly handsome. He apologized - he was late because of his work. Until that moment I really thought that I would run away with a hurt ego, but he was finally there and nothing else mattered to me. You can guess that I haven't got laid for a REALLY long time before this date because I probably left my brain on the other side of the Prague. We went out to the city to enjoy the night, run through some breweries (as always I'm a sucker for a good beer) and we've chatted till midnight. You can also guess how this night ended. Surprisingly, at his place.

When you're longing for such a long time for a simple human touch, being desirable for somebody, your brain enters a whole new reality when it actually happens. You don't care about looks that some people give you or even warnings from your closest friends and family members. Philip easily turned off my brain. When I was with him, there wasn't a place for anything else.

But a person like me that went through so many fucked up relationships (and being honest in this part, most of them I fucked up myself) has a secret inner alert device that slaps you every time when something weird happens. And with Philip, it was almost unavoidable.

The first time my inner slap alert gave me first gentle punch was because of my mum. I possibly could not be quiet about my recent happiness so I told her about my new boyfriend. She listened patiently and after I told her everything, she actually didn't seem as much pleased as I did.

"It's fine that he's still trying to study. But what guy comes that late for a first date?" I know mom, that was really embarrassing, but I forgave him! "And since then did you tried to do anything else together? Instead of sleeping together I mean." Well, you have a point. Not much.

Every time we have met in our favorite pub Hidden, had sex and sometimes I even cooked at my place. Instead of that, we haven't really done anything else together. When Philip wasn't with me, he was working in his father's construction company or studying. When we've been outside together, almost everything was too expensive for him or not necessary and enjoyable enough for him. I wished to do something nice for him - and I thought that dinner at my favorite popular restaurant and maybe movie theater afterward could be a nice choice.

What was supposed to be a pleasant date night was a disaster. It wasn't that he didn't like the drinks or food. He simply hated that I invited him out and wanted to pay the bill. I knew that he didn't have so much cash, but I never imagined that me paying for the meal would cause so much trouble. He refused to eat, even when he admitted that he was hungry and I only convinced him for a drink. A half an hour of his sulking over me paying the bill was too much for me to handle. With this behavior, movie night could not happen. Instead of that we continued to our origin bar Hidden and had beers with Evička and Mike (which didn't cause any more trauma to his precious manly ego). I pushed down my disappointment and tried to smile at least till the end of the night. Why the hell did he have to behave like such a jerk?

My attempt for a night out end up in a garbage but it wasn't an end. The 11th November was coming, the Saint Martin's day. That meant celebrations with young wine and goose feasts I love so much. Another night I and Philip met in the Hidden bar and he asked me if I want to celebrate Saint Martin's day with his family. Well, that was a jump! We haven't been together even a whole month and he already wanted to introduce me to his parents.

First I was touched and also a little bit concerned. Is it really a good time to show up in front of his family? I already knew that Philip had a complicated relationship with his father, also he said that I do remind him his mother (and to be honest, that didn't sound so good - but maybe he meant that as a compliment?). But come on - roasted goose, great wine... Don't tell me that in these circumstances it would be bad to meet Philip's momma, poppa, and his siblings. I could handle that!

So I happily said yes. That night my heart felt so warm - I almost forgot about the awkward date we had together last time. As usual Philip and I headed to my place where he was supposed to stay over the night. I was happy with anticipation and started to cheerfully babble about the family celebration. Should I bring something? Wine, beer or some liquor? Maybe I can even help with cooking? What should I wear? And with that Philip stopped on the street and said: "Well you know, you probably should not come at all. Because I told parents that you hate kids and they find it pretty bad!"

My heart dropped on the ground and was in pieces. What-the-hell did he just said?! In one moment he asked me out to meet his folks and now he changed his mind like that? And what meant that crazy talk about me hating children?!

If I wondered that there is something wrong with Philip, this terrible invitation gave me some idea. My affection towards him changed and even when he apologized and tried to convince me to come anyway, I was too scared of what could await me at his parents' home.

Still, a proper atom bomb awaited me at the end of the November. I still cared about Philip, but I kept my cool and tried to be more careful and not expect much from him. You can see that this my new attitude was already pretty bad sign of our relationship. He was still insisting that I should meet his family - and I really didn't understand why it was so important to him. One night when I was heading home from my moms' place, he gave me a call that he's out with his mother and sister. Do I wanna come and join them?

Just Philip, his mom, and sis - that didn't sound so bad! I was convinced that this way it can be easier for me to get along with them. And why should I be so scared? I'll buy them all a drink and we'll have a great night.

As I imagined, his sister was super cute and mom ever cuter. She didn't even mind my tattoos and in a short while proposed me to call her by her first name. It was already such a rad night! Well, what a naive fool I was.

Our small talk continued, I had my second wine and then questions came along. "So Philip told us that you've met each other in a bar, right?" Yop, found guilty, I answered with a smile. "And what did you liked about him the most?" Well, his eyes. He has the prettiest blue I've ever seen. And smile. And how smart he is. "And did you know that he had never finished his high school?"

I can almost see myself in that moment, how my love-struck smile faded away and changed into deep disbelief. I thought that I misheard her, the club we've been sipping our drinks was so loud that night. But she repeated exactly the same sentence and I could not find words to answer. I looked at Philip. He wasn't even able to meet my eyes - he knew quite well what his mom said. In the moment she realized my lack of knowledge and finally told me everything (and she also didn't spare curse words toward her son during her explanation).

So I realized that Philip was a pathological liar. He told me that he's a university student. Nope, he even had a problem to finish his high school. As a teenager, he started to distribute drugs and they kicked him out before he could even complete his studies. Well, not that he actually attended school, in some time he just started to skip his classes completely and was enjoying his "high life".

After some time his family and friends have been able to convince him to join therapy. He lasted there about six months, then disappeared and lived on a street for almost a whole year until they finally found him. His father paid for finishing his studies and was watching him close so he could not get into some trouble again. And now we've been in a present time - when this jerk made a fool of me and also behaved like an ass.

That night was a giant mindblower. It was probably thanks to the alcohol that I haven't freaked out immediately (it happened just a half an hour after that, in a dark alley when I was heading home). I still cannot really understand how the hell I didn't break apart immediately and haven't kicked that lying crazy person right into the arse. When I confronted Philip to explain himself, he was only able to say that he felt embarrassed because of his past and the fact that he hasn't finished his school (what a fantastic reason to lie about college to someone who actually hasn't finished university studies). That was still an extremely poor excuse. I felt guilty of bringing such a dishonest person close to me, my friends and almost to my own family.

Philip was full of shit and once again I was single and broken hearted. I felt rage, sadness, but also a little relief because this relationship could end up much worse, hurting not only me but many other people who didn't deserve that. I still wonder why it had to end like this. Why Philip insisted that I should meet with his folks even when he possibly knew that his lies will blow right towards me. Philip's intentions are still a mystery to me - but I don't want to solve them at all. Some things you should just leave like they are, and get the shit away from them.

If you think that today I feel towards menkind only hate and disgust, you're wrong. This one specific man sucks as hell but I'm still hopeful that someday I'll meet someone who's not as dreadful as Philip - someone who can be honest with himself and also his feelings toward me. My journey still awaits. And when I'll meet him, I'll (probably) let you know.

Post Scriptum:
If you wonder why I chose such a cliché title for this article - it's because the "Prince on a white horse" should refer to a person on drugs. Now I ruined a joke and I'm not sorry at all since I found out about this reference thanks to Philip and his favorite rap songs. And here it is. Enjoy that piece of art (and this last sentence is meant to be a sarcasm).

If you like my writing, thank you for sharing, comments, and advice - I'm still working on my English texts and I'll be happy to make you laugh again!

Buď první, kdo ohodnotí tento článek.


1 Lepší Lepší | E-mail | 19. dubna 2019 v 22:08 | Reagovat

Je z tebe cítit duše. Až bude chtít nakrmit někým dalším zajímavým, dej vědět.

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